Saturday, July 5, 2014

10 Reasons Why That ‘Advice’ Book Might Be Junk

Another blast from the past: This is a reprint from back in my Hubpages days (August 6, 2009).

10 Reasons Why That “Advice” Book Might Be Junk: So sell it on eBay and buy another...

1. Finding a Mate: The author is and always has been single. These are especially depressing to find.

2. Fashion: The author promotes monogramming. Despite what some people would like to believe, it’s never been stylish.

3. Etiquette: It tells you that the best thing to do is to use your intuition – “just be polite” - without really giving any defining guidelines. If we knew how to do that, we wouldn't have bought the book!

4. Interior Decorating: The author is a slave to the “accent wall” and can’t recommend anything original.

5. Beauty: The author actually says that there’s one “correct” eyebrow shape...and that it works for all women regardless of differences in the shape and size of their heads and facial features. Don’t let her get anywhere near my face!

6. Internet Dating: Don’t reveal religious or political views or life-time goals too soon? Gee, maybe if you’re upfront from the very beginning, you’ll attract like-minded people and scare off others with whom you might otherwise have wasted a lot of Inbox storage space.

7. Makeup: Denies the existence of undertones and, therefore, advises light-skinned blacks, medium-skinned Hispanics, and dark-skinned Asians to use the same color foundation. Run and hide!

8. Getting Out of Debt: Pay it off. Umm...Excuse me. DUH!

9. Small Business: Encourages the reader to get involved in a “pyramid scheme” by insisting that sales experience or knowledge in the subject aren’t necessary to become a successful independent “business owner.” The brutal truth is that you must know how to sell something to be successful, and no one really wants to buy from someone who can’t be trusted to know the industry.

10. Getting Your Prayers Answered: It tells you that you must pray a specific prayer, either one found in the Bible or one personally created by the enlightened author. This turns religion into mere spell-casting and can’t explain why so-and-so’s genuine, heart-felt (but non-conforming) prayer got a favorable response.